I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping