I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
