Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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