dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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