I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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