I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
