New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
