My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
