Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
