It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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