I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have fence marks all over my body
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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