Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
