so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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