That's when you crack a 10am beer
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
