he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
