i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
