It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
