fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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