if you like me you must not know who I am
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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