i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
