my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
