Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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