listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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