party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
