No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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