my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
