If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
