pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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