How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
