hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
