With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i need some magic done to my vagina
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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