ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You pole danced in your parka.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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