thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im holly from the hills drunk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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