He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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