1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
