I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
