she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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