Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
In America we eat man semen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
