What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
