I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
