Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize