im drinking this country out of the recession.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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