god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize