When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
