Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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