The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
