I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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