yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
