I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
