He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
sarcasm needs its own font
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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