Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
