Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You've changed since you got that strap on
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