just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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