I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
