K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
