well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just found puke in my bra..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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