Quick, to the slutcave!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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