So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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