Porn is love you can see.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
