i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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